An Old Blog From My Myspace Days

I am in the middle of writing a story at the moment and don't have the time or energy to write anything else. Since I feel bad about starting these blogs and not posting reguarly, I decided to post some old blogs from my myspace days.

This one was written back in August when the man that owns my heart decided he wanted some time apart.

HOW?

How can you take my heart and shred it into pieces? Why did you spend so much time and energy breaking down my walls if you were going to destroy my heart? Do you even care or realize how much Im hurting? How did you keep your selfishness hidden from me for so long? Am I just a game to you? Am I just a fuck? Why couldnt you be open and upfront from the beginning? Why did you have to make me love you? Why did you make me start to feel again? Will you realize that I am worth more before its too late? Will you realize Im the best you could ever have before I finish rebuilding my walls? How many times do you think that you can break my heart before it shatters into a million irretrievable pieces? Do you really thing that I will be here waiting forever? Do you think my love for you can survive much more of this?
I know that I should give up and say fuck it before my heart breaks anymore. But can I do it yet? Can I build the walls high enough, strong enough, fast enough to say thats it, no more? I dont think that I can. Not yet. But much more hurt and they will build until they cannot be scaled. Is that what you want? I wish that I could turn off my love for you like a light switch. It would save me so much heartache if I could. I want things the way the used to be. But I doubt they will ever be again.